I linger on the past because I felt like I never really lived it in the first place, you know?

I'm back folks! I've been on a little vacation, a vacation to where? to my soul! LOL just kiddin that sounds ridiculous. I've been taking some time off from life and trying to just be. Not as easy it sounds. So much has happened since I last communicated with the human race.

A person i thought i knew so well, only to learn i didn't know them at all. to think that person would hurt me like this, i would never imagine it. It was a tough time in life for me, everything seemed like it was falling out of place i didn't know who i was, felt like the end for me. One of my good friends to me sometimes we have to go through the bad people to weed them out and realize who our true friends and people who will truly look out for you. I'm trying to move on from this experience every day, each day is a step towards a new life.

I'm slowly realizing the things that are important to me in my life and working towards that way of life. I've learned that one learns most about life is through their mistakes. Sometimes i think that the past was a lot better than the present but at times i find myself recalling the past times and realizing it wasn't as great as i thought it is.

But for now i wish not to ponder of the past, or my mistakes. Only the present moment in which i existence. To keep my dreams alive of my constant pursuit of happiness. To live for my dreams, their beauty and wish to share my genius of my talents with the world. To make a difference. To be somebody that i never that i could imagine i could be, to show the world they can be somebody too. Not to be afraid of my dreams, no matter how big or small. Never give up no matter how scary the world seems.

Where do i go from here??.....

Whats it like being told that your dreams will always remain just simple dreams of a your childhood. To forget them and move on with life. I'd never imagine a day where such thoughts would cross my mind, not now anyways. To be told to never cause the line of dreams and reality and to sit on the sidelines and watch my dreams float on by but never cross the line. How am I supposed to go on with life knowing that my dreams will never become reality but they in fact will always just remain a dream of mine. I have lost all reason to exist in a world where i am told that my dreams will in fact just remain in my dreams. At times i wish my life was like a movie and will get through the tough times, but i dont know about this one. Being told that your dreams will never be is not easy to take. I use to think life was focused around my dreams and i should follow it. Now i dont know anymore. I dont know anything and lost all reason to live in a world where your told to give up on dreams. I have lost my will to exist. I might as well not exist. I dont know if im strong enough to let go. I always thought i could make a difference in the world, do something different from the rest and tell them i did something that everyone thought was impossible and made people believe in dreams. How can i make people believe when i dont even believe in myself anymore cause someone told me it was not possible anymore and i should give up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNp4n25WRNs&feature=related

GRASS IS greener on the OTHER SIDE???

I get up morning after morning with same routine. Get out of bed. Brush my teeth. Make chai tea. and i watch life past be by every minute, second, millisecond.......life keeps going whether your paying attention or not. I believe in everyone's life at one point or another a choice arises that can change that individuals life forever. The questions arises if one to recognize that choice or not. It can be right in front of us and we can just be scared to make a move. No one chooses to be afraid, some just lack the strength and courage to make the leap over onto the other side of the grass, where a whole new life awaits them. I know I'm afraid, i've been afraid since i can remember but i dont want to sit back and watch life pass me by and wake up one day and realize i'm 50 years old and feel i never did anything with my life. That is what scared me. If one day through my talents and for me just being me, I am able to better someone life, I know i have lived for a greater cause and i could die a happy man. We all have the same dream and many of us achieve that, but there a are a few too scared to live up to their full potential. TODAY I AWAKE A MAN WITH NO FEARS, ONLY HOPE FOR THE GREATER MANKIND.....THAT WILL ARISE WITH MY TALENTS......

My NeXt MoVe?????

I have like both feet over the line but my heels are touching the line.........

I feel that life is nothing more than simply us making choices and our world simply coming together....it doesn't sound that easy though. Every decision is filled with doubt and long hours of contemplation of what is the next move. Nothing in life is easy, I'm learning the meaning of this very slowly. They say my decision will come from within myself, but even i don't think that is possible. Everyday i feel more scared and scared of the choices i make, i don't want to be scared anymore....

StArS.....

Does anyone still wish upon a star? Do people hold dreams close to their heart and never let go? What is the meaning of life but random particles colliding with one another and creating a chaos in a orderless world. I guess that is what is life is about, trying to get by in a chaotic world. I keep my eyes out for any signs that might come by my way and lead me into the right direction. I still look at the stars at night and wonder if anyone is looking back and telling me that everything is gonna be okay and it will all work out. I guess everyone would love to hear that though. Maybe theres someone else looking out at the night sky and thinking and feeling the same way and maybe one day our paths will cross and everything will become magical again. Until then i wait........

LiFe Is LoVe

Everyday i awake and its feels as if i'm floating amongst the clouds, nothing beneath me but the air....wit no direction in sight, just soaring with my arms spread out like an eagle. With no one to guide me but my own heart to show me the path of my true destiny is, overwhelming. Struggling at every moment to recognize the signs that are in front me. Inside all of us there is a dream that we must never let go and i wont. We just have to remember, there are reasons that each of is are born and we have to find those reasons. I don't want to be one of those people that gave up on their dreams, I just cant. I don't think thats what life is about, we have to fight for it. And we have to teach others that they can be great too, we cant forget that.

THIS IS IT, HEAR I STAND, IM GONNA LIGHT UP THE WORLD, I'll FEEL GRAND, LIFE IS LOVE